UMW senior Meghan Cardwell floats into the Hurley Convergence Center for an afternoon interview. She pulls up a chair, cardboard cup glued to her hand. Fully caffeinated, she’s a fireball, from her rose-hued hair to her crimson-colored Converse.
She calls herself a stargazer, a storyteller, a Jedi. Interrupts the chat to shout her love to a tour guide.
But don’t let Cardwell’s effervescence fool you. This psychology major, who’s been on the front lines of bullying and suicide, is a kaleidoscope of emotions. And she doesn’t mind sharing them.
“It’s why I do the things I do and why I study what I study,” she said. “Hiding your diagnoses prevents you from getting help, and there should be no stigma to getting help.”
A quarter Japanese – her grandmother immigrated to the U.S. years ago – Cardwell grew up in Newport News into sci-fi and superheroes. The bullying started when a middle school teacher targeted her, dragging her classmates along for the ride.
With her mother, Cardwell made the decision to stay in the close-knit Catholic school system she’d loved. High school, they thought, would bring change. They were wrong.
“My bullies got new friends, and I got new bullies,” said Cardwell, who transferred after ninth grade to find peace.
When her parents divorced soon after, her anxiety morphed into headaches, insomnia. She sought help from a therapist and found solace in theater. “You take all your problems and leave them backstage,” she said of the acting she threw herself into in high school. “You become a different person.”
Mary Washington was another fresh start, and Cardwell jumped in. She joined the Student Transition Program, helped organize the James Farmer Multicultural Fair and worked to create the UMW Whovians club (for fans of the TV show Doctor Who). She joined BellACappella, went to work at the University Center and got noticed by teachers, including Associate Professor of Classics, Philosophy and Religion Angela Pitts.
“She decided she was going to succeed in the course one way or the other,” said Pitts, who saw Cardwell’s synesthesia – converging senses that can affect cognition – make learning Latin a challenge. “When Meghan experiences something difficult, she finds a way to not only overcome it but to try to help others do the same.”
As a junior, Cardwell joined Mary Washington’s branded-marketing campaign, appearing on bus wraps and mall ads, and in the University’s first-ever commercial. Just weeks into summer break, though, the unthinkable happened. Her father committed suicide.
Once again, Cardwell fought grief to find purpose. She interned for Mental Health America Fredericksburg, talking about teenage depression at high schools and helping organize the Above The Darkness Walk, in memory of her dad.
“I have used this life-changing tragedy to help myself move forward …,” she posted on Facebook in October after the walk raised more than $11,000 for suicide prevention.
“Ella” – that’s the name of the instrument that lives in her purse – helps her find focus, too. “You can’t be sad when there’s a ukulele playing,” she said. “It’s impossible.”
She strums it from one end of campus to the other, lifting spirits – hers and everyone else’s – along the way.
“I’m here to tell you,” she continues on Facebook, “if you think you’re alone in this world, you are absolutely wrong. There is so much beauty … and you deserve to see it every day.”
First, I LOVE this article. It is brave for this young person to allow us to hear her difficult story, but important because this sort of sharing can give others hope. The knowledge that people all around us have stresses and heartbreak in their lives makes the bumpy road easier to travel.
Second, message to Meghan — you are a treasure. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Meghan, I am honored to know such a wonderful person as you. As you know I have suffered with mental illness for a long time. I was told a long time ago your only as sick as your secrets. Believing that I shout my issues from the roof tops. I’m glad to see you opening up too. Because I have seen first hand how much sharing can help other people going through the same thing. YOU are a REMARKABLE young LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, such an inspiring person. We need more people like you in the world, Meghan.
<3
Meghan, I don’t know if you are reading this, but you are an awesome person, Don’t let these past memories get in the way of your future. I can tell you will be very successful, and I want to say it was a privilege to know you!
Beautiful young woman. Thank you for sharing.
I think Meaghan was really brave to allow this article to be shown. She must be
a great person.
This is inspiring to see! I been analyzing and reflecting continuously in a religion and violence class, and am constantly challenged to understand whether the actions are committed with true sincerity or are out of desperation to seek fulfillment. This takes observation and multiple perspectives to consider, and just as an action that is perceived as the correct way, I seek to be a support and light even as those same people are challenged to find anything great from their troubles to bring about not only healthy action though also an attitude to do so within their environment. I hope to truly listen and give them hope they are engaged and are seeking support for what they do.
I struggle to see others’ point-of-view, though I desperately seek to connect and relate with them. I have been diagnosed with Asperger’s, and I see things the way they ought to be in harmony, so I continue to seek understanding though at the same time I know it is a great and not an act to take for granted to take time and be attentive to others. I want to be a light, I just observe ways I can do so.