By Kimberly Young, Executive Director of Continuing and Professional Studies at the University of Mary Washington.
Time. It’s one of those few, precious resources that we cannot make more of and we have no idea how much of it we have. Last week was very stressful for me. By Tuesday, I realized that I had over-committed myself in the previous months and now all of those obligations were coming to demand my time in a concentrated period of five short days. It was my own doing and because it was premeditated, there was no getting out of any of the commitments. I just had to slog through it and when there was time, find a moment to reflect on how I created this stress for myself.
I admire those people who make an intention to say yes to everything like Shonda Rhymes who devoted a year to yes, but my problem has never been saying yes. My issue is making choices in the moment to say yes to the things that are most aligned with my personal constitution. My constitution is founded in dedicated time for my well-being, my family, and support for my community.
Saying yes to your constitution can be tricky because a board position of an organization that you love may be offered. If the organization is clearly aligned with your priorities, you may think that “yes” is the right answer. What if you looked at it differently? What if instead, you asked yourself, “how would this commitment impact my time and ability to engage in the things that I value?” “Will it disrupt important rituals or relationships that I hold dear?” If your answer leads you to believe that saying yes to the request might tip the scale, then you instead say yes to your existing obligations and commitments. You’re still saying yes, but just not to the question that was most recently presented. This doesn’t mean that we can’t take on new opportunities or forge new relationships, it just means that all of the pieces have to fit and the fit is not just for the moment, but in the context of the future.
Here’s another way to look at, what if the only question we needed was this, “Can I keep my commitment to my core values and priorities and take on what is being requested of me?” If the answer is yes, we have a new journey, but if not, we know what we have to do. After all, this thing we call life is only what we make it and it is all about time.
Leave a Reply