Fuel or Fire

By Devin Fedor, Head of Organizational Design and Effectiveness at Great Minds 

Feedback is always a hot topic.  How do I get more?  What do I do with it?  What if I disagree or don’t like what I hear?  We are wired to want feedback, yet both the acts of giving and receiving feedback can be a stressful and potentially threatening experience.  Despite the discomfort, feedback is critical for ongoing growth and development.   

When faced with feedback, you have a choice to make.  Do you use it as fuel to light you up or fire to burn you down?  If you are striving to use feedback as fuel, it can be helpful to first turn down the threat level by simply asking for it.  According to research from the NeuroLeadership Institute, asking for feedback broadly, explicitly, and often promotes a growth mindset and can produce feedback that is less biased.   

 Here are some tips to get better at asking for feedback. 

Be proactive.  Getting unsolicited feedback can be a stressful experience.  By proactively asking for feedback from a variety of people, you are better able to take control of the timing, the topic, and your response.  

• Be timely. As you are wrapping up a project, activity, or completing a new task, reach out to your colleagues and connections to see what insights or advice they can provide. Plan requests for feedback on a regular basis, such as once a month or quarter. 
• Be specific.  Let the person know exactly why and on what you are asking for feedback. Share that they will be doing you a favor by being candid and providing you with actionable suggestions for improvement.   
• Be responsive.  Take the feedback seriously and use it to build on your strengths and improve your areas of opportunity.  Discuss the feedback with a trusted friend or colleague and engage their support in your development.   

• Be gracious.  Listen without judgment. Thank the person for their feedback and let them know how you will act on it. Offer to return the favor when you can.  ​ 

 There will still be times when you receive unsolicited feedback, and you can use several of these tips in those situations as well.  When thinking about receiving feedback, the following quote from Anais Nin always comes to mind: 

 “We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”  

 We are experts on our own reactions and experiences of others – not on their skills, abilities, or intents.  Next time you are faced with receiving feedback, ask yourself “What is the most generous explanation for their comments?”.  Most likely, it is that they want to help you grow and improve.   Let their feedback light you up.